a very fine line

I find myself going to that dreaded place again.
I thought I was way passed it. Amazing how a few events can change ones mindset. People dissapearing. What when the going gets tough run and hide? I don't remember it going like that. What do you do. Fighting so hard everyday. Have never needed support more than I do now. Just need some normallcy. Nothing seems familiar right now except the darkness right around the bend. I can't go there. I cannot go through that again. I am not strong enough right now. Why can I not just let it go? Why can i not just move on? Your parents are always suppossed to be your soft spot. Yet mine have stepped further and further away. I look at my child and cannot even fathom turning my back on him. Ever. He is why I am here. Babble. I am aware. Just hard to make sense of these emotions. I must get my footing. And find my peace. Not from other people. I must find it within. I must remember how .